Turkey: Blue Lagoon

 

I've been quiet on the blog this week and if you haven't seen - it's because I'm on holiday. On Saturday morning I arrived in Dalaman airport in Turkey where we were picked up and transferred to Hisaronu, Fethiye. We arrived SO early, like middle of the night early, of course we went straight to bed. 

Over the past few days, we've not really done much aside from exploring the 'strip' as they call the centre part of town, trying out places to eat and of course lounging by the pool with a good old beer. I think I've had enough 'Efe's' to last me a lifetime at this point but it's just so damn tasty and easy to drink and what else are holidays for?

Embarrassingly enough, the hotel I booked is basically just full of old people so we've essentially come to the quietest holiday resort in existence which I suppose worked out well for us because there are no kids anywhere to be seen. Chuffed! As for the weather, it has been glorious; from about 27-29 degrees in the day time and a bit cooler of an evening. It was supposed to rain but thankfully we've avoided that so far. 

I thought I'd share these photos from our trip to the Blue Lagoon in Olu Deniz today. I'm so proud of how they look actually which is why I'm writing this so soon but I feel like I got really good use of my camera. 

I pointed out to my friend who's come away with me that I absolutely adore holidays for this particular reason; when you're sitting around the pool or the beach, you see women (and men) of all shapes and sizes and additionally, people really do not seem to give a second glance as to what other's look like. This has given me a big boost in body confidence because you only have to look around at each other on holiday to realise how beautiful we are individually. Moreover, I think I've really found myself getting to the point where I stop caring about people wanting me to lose weight. I have felt sexier than ever on this holiday and I damn proud of my body carrying me through all the problems I've had. Honestly though, to actually walk down the beach or by the pool in a bikini and feel confidence radiating through you, it's an incredible feeling and one I'd never thought I'd feel in such a long time. 

Here's to continuing to feel like this in the long term! 

(Bikini from Primark)

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This is who I am | *may contain odd swear words

Nope, I'm not wearing make-up, no my hair is not done and yes I look messy! This is me; this is my body and I AM beach ready.

For years, and it's still ongoing, I've been suffering with very low self-esteem. I rarely find much to love about myself and my body. I'm not classically beautiful, I know that and I struggle to deal with it. I've been between a size 10 and 16 for most of my life. Most recently, a 14-16. All of my weight is around my stomach and hips and none ever found it's way to my boobs, so I don't really count as a classically "beautiful" curvy girl either, I don't have the boobs every person seems to think every plus size girl has! I understand I'm on the smaller end of the plus sized scale, but I am sick and tired of hearing people tell me to lose weight. 

But. I'm not here to write about my body hang-ups. I'm here to write positive words. No one really wants to hear or read somebody talking bad about themselves. As much as I often dislike what I see in the mirror, I know one thing for sure: I am beautiful. Deep down inside, underneath all of that anger and resentment I hold for myself, I know. Which is why I get so fucking angry that we live in a world that tears us down for our bodies. It's like, I can say bad things about myself (even though I definitely shouldn't) but as soon as somebody else, especially if that somebody else is in the form of an aggressive advert (most likely dreamt up by a 30 year old white fuckboy), I go from 0-100 defending myself reeeeeeal quick. 

I work on the Underground so I was seeing so much of those awful Protein World adverts. At first, I wasn't bothered; it was like I was desensitized into the whole "healthy, fit bodies look like this" malarky, and so I didn't think much of it. However, the more I saw those adverts, the more annoyed I got. Essentially what the adverts boil down to is this: they ask passing women  "Are you beach body ready?" whilst presenting those women with a *clearly* photoshopped slim model with images of their weight loss products next to the model. It's basic maths. What they're basically saying is: "Oh. you're not "beach body ready?" well you better take these fucking weight loss pills and meal replacement shakes until you look like this digitally altered woman!"  It doesn't take a genius to work out that this is what they meant. Aside from the fact that I'm pretty sure those products aren't healthy for you (in fact I have friends that have used them and have said they work out and have made better progress without them), it's rather worrying that companies like these only have one view of what a fit, healthy person is. I am SURROUNDED by people in my life that are definitely fit, and healthy and don't look like the people we see in advert. I'm talking both male and female. Adverts like Protein World's, they couldn't give a care in the world about your health or fitness, they just want to prey on your insecurities and make money off of it. 

So here I am, Sarah Russell 23 year old woman, at 12 stone 6, this is my body. This is what I look like on a beach. I'm not ashamed and I'm not going to hide myself away because people in this life are so small minded as to what 'beauty' should look like. Sure, I'd like to lose some weight - but that's my OWN business and nobody else's. 

I've been following the #WeAreTheThey campaign started by Debz - it's been so inspiring seeing all of these wonderful and beautiful women come out of their shells and stand up and say "this is who we are and we're not going away" - I'm so chuffed. Beauty has no size and each persons health or fitness, is just that - the person's business. 

Bikini by Primark from about 2 years ago.